Hello! Hey. Hi. What’s up?
These are the words we speak when greeting someone. Sometimes these greetings are accompanied by a smile or a nod of the head. Other times the words are mixed with hand gestures.
Hand gestures. Hand shakes. Hand waves. Hand other things.
Our acknowledgements turn into encouragements in the midst of battle aka WODs.
I’ve rounded up the best hand gesture greetings, tossed them into a tournament, and determined a winner for Most Likely That You Should Be Using At Your CrossFit Box. Read on for full results.
My research to narrow the field to 8 solid entries came from two sources:
- Things I do myself
- Things I’ve seen others do
Very scientific huh? Let’s meet our contestants. In no particular order…
Remember, these are things you do with your hands. No kissing allowed. In fact, kissing shouldn’t be allowed in a box, period.
You know the hand shake! Reach out and clasp someone else’s hand and give it a little squeeze and a little shake. Not too firm of a squeeze and not too aggressive of a shake.
The high five is executed by raising your hand above your head as does the friend you are greeting. Bring your hands forward to meet each other in sharp impact.
Basically a high five but on the side. Perhaps a better name exists for this, but I’m at a loss for it currently.
Speaking of not having a better name, I bring you the elbow thing. I don’t know what to call the elbow thing and I’ve never seen it outside of televised professional sports. The elbow thing involves raising an arm overhead much like the high five, but instead of touching hands you touch the insides of your elbows. It’s a thing of beauty.
Aww, a hug! How sweet!
Hands up, palms facing your intended target, rock your hand left and right and wave!!!
Close your hand into a fist. Extend it towards the other person who is also making a fist and extending it towards you. Touch fists with that person. Fist is generally turned sideways, knuckles up, but can remain with the thumb on top.
Introduce your hand to your friends backside. Check out the guy below and his perfect booty slap form. He’s excited, keeps his hand open (no squeezing!), quick contact, and a fast pull away.
Side note… like super duper side note… Yes, I did many google searches of variants of “booty slap” and came across this gem. I probably wouldn’t open this at work but there’s nothing too graphic about it. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t watch at least 50 loops of this booty slap. It’s mesmerizing. Click the link.
If you are still reading after viewing the above link, congratulations.
We’ve had our introductions for the different types of dap. Now let’s break it down tournament style, complete with a bracket!
We will judge these 8 entries over 3 rounds with the following criteria:
- Ease Of Execution – How easy is it to perform the gesture?
- Coolness Factor – Does the hand gesture increase your badassery level any?
- Can You Do It In The Middle Of A WOD? – Um… can you do it in the middle of a WOD?
Without further ado, let’s get into Round 1!
Round 1 – Ease Of Execution
Hand Shake vs High Five
With the hand shake, you reach out and grab your buddy’s hand while they are trying to grab yours. Two targets, moving towards each other, while keeping your eyes on your target in front of you. The high five is also two hands moving towards each other, but this is above your head and could creep outside your field of vision.
Winner – Hand Shake
Hand Slap vs Elbow Thing
The hand slap definitely requires a bit of precision, not unlike the before mentioned high five. But, compared to the elbow thing, the hand slap is child’s play! To somehow pull that off without pulling a shoulder out of socket would be an impressive feat in itself!
Winner – Hand Slap
Hug vs Wave
Waving is probably the easiest contestant in the tournament. I mean, a wave can be as simple as raising your hand. That’s it. While a hug is pretty straight forward… wave gets the nod here.
Winner – Wave
Fist Bump vs Booty Slap
Finally, a closer Round 1 matchup! One involves bringing fist to fist, the other hand to ass. The fist bump is easier than the hand slap since there is no sideways component to the movement, but there are two moving targets. The booty slap usually has one stationary target (dat butt) and one moving hand, but if the hand strikes the wrong part of the rear… there could be dire consequences.
Winner – Fist Bump… Unless glitter is involved…
Round 2 – Coolness Factor
Hand Shake vs Hand Slap
Let’s pause for a second and agree that had the Elbow Thing made it to this round, it would absolutely advance since there is no bigger, badasser (badassier?) gesture. However, its difficulty precluded it from reaching the second round.
We have the hand shake and the hand slap.
With the hand shake, you can add all kinds of funky twists to it such as clasping forearms or adding something crazy like you may observe at baseball games. Shake possibilities are endless.
However, you can do this with the hand slap…
Winner – Hand Slap
Wave vs Fist Bump
Fist bumps are inherently cool. I mean, you’re sticking out your fist… fists are a symbol of strength! You can even blow it up after giving someone a pound! Closing your hand into a fist also conceals any blood rips you may have on your palm. Getting your friend bloody = uncool.
With the wave, I always picture something like this…
Don’t wear pink gloves and wave.
Winner – Fist Bump
Round 3 – Can You Do It In The Middle Of A WOD?
Hand Slap vs Fist Bump
It all comes down to this ladies and gentlemen! Your finals – hand slapping against fist bumping!
In the middle of a grueling workout, we get fatigued. Our bodies don’t function as they normally would. With that in mind, the hand slap gives us about twice the target area that the fist bump does. That extra area could mean the difference between a successful slap or a total whiff!
However, after a WOD, when you’re laying prone in a puddle of your own sweat and someone comes by to say good job, what do you do? Do you extend your hand up in the air for a slap, or do you clinch that fist and raise it high?
Raising that fist does more than acknowledge your friend. Raising your fist is a sign of victory, a triumphant gesture reaching for the heavens showing that though you may be currently spent of energy, you are not drained of spirit. You fought the good fight, and you came out for the better.
Raise those fists high.
Winner – Fist Bump
There you have it. The winner has been crowned for the Ultimate CrossFit Hand Greeting Tournament. Remember to extend your fist to your friends the next time you workout.
Your Turn -> Do you agree with the tournament results? How do you greet your friends when you workout? What kinds of encouraging gestures do you give?
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