You remember Jeff Foxworthy, right?
He was the guy that came up with the “You might be a redneck if…” routine. There were beautiful gems such as:
- You might be a redneck if… someone asks to see your ID and you show them your belt buckle.
- You might be a redneck if… someone you knew died after saying “Hey y’all, watch this!”.
- You might be a redneck if… you prefer shopping at The Dollar Store because it’s casual and you don’t have to get all dressed up like you’re going to Wal-Mart.
Let’s do that, but with a CrossFit twist -> You might be a CrossFitter if…
You might be a CrossFitter if…
- You are sore everyday. Like seriously… every. freaking. day.
- You have one pair of work shoes but three pairs of workout shoes.
- Your new nervous tick is picking at your callouses.
- You seriously thought you had rhabdo after a WOD.
- Speaking CrossFitonese is second nature.
- Lululemon and Reebok are more of an addiction than a habit.
- You don’t need Christian Grey because you have double unders.
- You know the names of more Games athletes than coworkers.
- Everything in your gym bag has chalk on it.
- December 25th isn’t the first thing you think of when you hear Christmas.
- You’ve ever done burpees of punishment.
- You’ve ever given burpees as punishment.
- Watching porn has been replaced by watching lifting techniques.
- You’ve been unfriended on Facebook for one too many photos of your ripped hands.
- You won’t hesitate to destroy a CrossFit hating troll on the internet.
- At an age greater than puberty, you are desperately trying to perfect a handstand.
- You’ve given your significant other permission to check out other people’s butts.
- Being called a beast actually makes your day.
- You have screamed bloody murder from simply washing your hands.
- Drawers have been cleaned out to make room for more CrossFit t-shirts.
- Cabinets have been cleaned out to make room for more shaker bottles.
- The first thing you do when planning a trip is to google the local affiliates.
- Your shins are a permanent shade of red.
- Thursday evenings in March? You already have plans.
- Bacon and nut butters make up a large portion of your daily food consumption.
- You can say snatch without giggling.
- You’ve literally been too sore to have sex.
- You intimately know what monkey butt feels like.
- Saying you’re going to do/did <insert name> is common speak, as in, I just did Helen!
- You’ve assumed the fetal position after a WOD.
- Knee socks aren’t just for the bedroom.
- Your favorite mixed drink is made with Kill Cliff.
- People’s lives might be in danger if you don’t receive food post deadlifting.
- You wear shorter shorts now then when you were a teenager.
- You’ve grown stronger both physically and mentally from the struggle.
- You click on the share buttons to share this with your friends!
- CrossFit kicks your butt, yet you happily keep coming back for more!
Your turn-> Which ones describe you most? Add your own ‘You might be’ in the comments! For all you non-CrossFitters, comment on something that uniquely identifies you with your favorite form of fitness.